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Saturday Win

We have been foster parents for 44 days now. That might not seem like a long time (and in reality, it isn’t that long) but it feels like it’s been twice that at least. Don’t get me wrong, becoming foster parents was the right choice for us and in no way are we regretting it, but because this is our first placement and our first child, the learning curve is steep.


Junior is also in a unique situation and like many other children in care, he has challenges to overcome that most people will never face in their lifetime. Without going into detail I will say that Junior was an emergency placement, which means that he didn’t come to us from another foster home. He is also not from this area, which means that nothing is familiar to him here. Can you imagine if someone came to you one morning and said, “In a few hours you will be living for an undefined amount of time in a new town, in a new house, with strangers. You will be expected to eat food you’ve never tried. You will attend a new school, with new people you’ve never met. You will have a team of people you don’t know constantly checking up on you and your every move will be thoroughly documented.” This is what happens to foster children going into care every day across the country. It’s terrifying and as difficult at it is to be a foster parent, the hardest role by far is being the foster kid.


Despite Junior’s circumstances and the challenges he has yet to face, he is such a joyful kid. After 44 days, we are finally getting into the swing of things. Today was the first Saturday that felt somewhat normal. Junior, understandably, requires a lot of attention. He will be meeting with a therapist soon that will help him understand his situation and process his emotions better, but in the mean time, we are in coping mode. We take it one day at a time. We try our best to keep him busy because boredom leads him to a very negative head space. We try to keep him occupied with fun kid stuff like after school programs, karate, and park time, but weekends are the biggest struggle. At the end of every Sunday, Patrick and I usually feel like we're just about to lose it, exhaustion and frustration are blinding and it takes everything we have to be the parents he needs us to be. This Saturday was completely different. At the advice of our Agency Case Manager we made a detailed schedule for the entire weekend. Every single 1/2 hour was accounted for and it worked splendidly. He didn’t love “quiet time”, but since he knew it was coming ahead of time, he managed to get through it ok.


Today Patrick and I actually got to work on our own projects. It was warm outside (42 degrees) so the neighborhood kids all got their bikes and played in the cul-de-sac while I washed all the cars and Patrick worked on our new closet built-ins. Patrick and I each had time with Junior separately, we ate dinner, we laughed, we played a game and he went to bed on time. Most days I feel lucky that we are all alive and breathing by bedtime, but days like today make all those really hard days totally worth it.


Today might not happen again any time soon, for all I know tomorrow will be a complete mess. But today was glorious, today we were a family. It has taken 44 days to see the joy of foster care. It’s not easy to see because this journey is such a roller coaster, but I am so happy to have persevered to this point to realize that this is all worth it, every single second.


I am sure I will have to remind myself of this moment often (probably tomorrow), but isn’t that life? The good memories overcome the bad ones in the end, as Psalm 30:5 says, “weeping may last through the night, but joy comes in the morning.”


-Morgan

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